Sunday, January 2, 2011

Do you know what it is like to be driven out of your home annually?



Well, it's that marvellous time of year again on the Mornington Peninsula when our population quadruples. I would estimate over 50% of the newcomers are transient, gathering together to afford the exhorbitant rents required for less than average homes.

Already before being forced to seek solitude for work (writing purposes) elsewhere, I have endured the usual yobbo NY Eve sirens, drunks in the streets despite public place alcohol bans, noisy car engines, sound systems, cans that seemed to find their way into my garden bed. And then one would think a family with small children moving in opposite would have been OK.... wrong. Do you realise just how noisy kids on scooters, bikes, and fathers with oversized off road vehicles (presumably in reverse proportion to existing masculine genitalia) can be? Then add to equation a boat with trailer in a street where a single car meeting another becomes a traffic jam!

Street cricket, that seemingly sedate game from days gone by, is no longer sedate, with a semblance of a twenty twenty match outside MY study door! Many balls hit into garden (no damage), lots of ruckus as ball or bat connects with large upright garbage bins and cheers of that horrid OiOiOi. Meanwhile respectable fathers, not playing, watching from sidelines with bottles of beer in hand on the public street. One can only assume the very large illuminated sign just up on the corner of our main road warning of huge fines for drinking in public spaces does not apply to THESE PARTICULAR holidaying Victorians!

So after requesting that balls not be hit onto the newest car in the household I was advised, less than politely that they had hired the house for the next two weeks and I should P... off. When I pointed out that I was merely trying to work IN MY STUDY and that I LIVED HERE... I was reminded to P.... OFF if I do not like it.

I do NOT LIKE NOISE and nor should I have to vacate annually when selfish tourists arrive for tranquility away from the City and shatter the very tranquility they are seeking to escape. Also couldn't there be some sort of rule that in a three bedroom house, Real Estate agents do not rent it to (at last count possible ten people, two males and presumably partners, two pre-teen smirking daughters, four juveniles under ten... aformentioned cricketers).

The thing that amuses me least is how people assume everyone who does work, does so from a City Office, or during the hours of 9 - 5, and have absolutely no idea how writers battle with the entire task. How on earth does Peter Carey manage it in the Big Apple? I can understand J K Rowling in a lovely heritage estate in rural Britain... but where do I go to before I have made my first royalties or pre-sales?

Heading bush seems to provide only a temporary respite as guess what... beauty, tranquility but no bloody internet or mobile connection. So I am still praying for a Melbourne/outer Eastern suburbs based house sit.

There has to be a perfect work space somewhere. Now Jackie how much are those studios in Abbotsford to rent... oh no good, can't sleep in the studio!

I am really starting of 2011 in a Maxine type mood.

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