It's happened. After ten years there has finally been a healing between my son and his father. I never thought I would say it.
Last night "the family" went out for dinner at a small local bistro and let's just say things did not start well between myself and his father. Luckily my newly matured son stepped in and calmed the metaphorical waters.
We ended up having a shared whinge about the waitress, "chefs" and general quality of the restaurant fare. I was the lucky one who managed to order the actual reasonably cooked dish, a simple grilled rack of lamb, tender and moist as hoped. Lucky for the two blokes I can only eat a small portion, (and believe me this bistro charges surcharges for public holidays and is adamant that there are NO VARIATIONS to menu) so being stuck ordering a main, both could share this one dinner with me. Their paella was adequate... but that's when I got into trouble again. Whilst Louis has a thing about people promouncing the g in lasagne, it appears he is more cavalier with the ls in paella.
I hate it when it is pronounced pay ell la. I gently corrected Louis as he ordered from the waitress, and attempted to have her pronounce it pay yea ya... but this caused a ruckus after she had departed. Louis was stubborn and confrontational implying I was a tosser. I tried to explain that with all the businesses doing the cuisine de moment (Spanish) they could at least learn what bloody TAPAS actually is and how it is served, and how to pronounce paella. Then to have Italian style reds and no rioja, which is now grown in Victoria!
So after this disasterous interchange the only way back was to chose a good wine. I choose the 10 minutes by tractor Pinot Noir (the blend from all three vineyards) at a very reasonable $44. (the single vineyard wines would have had to be around $60 - $90 on a restaurant menu). Well, thank goodness I got something right.
Louis announced that he would have a beer as he didn't like Pinot... this after it had been brought to the table and opened. Carlo then joined him. I thought stuff you both. I won't drive home and will drink the whole bottle! After Carlo engaged the waitress in conversation over this bottle (she had never served any before) and he told her he had worked there, then explained the vineyard constellation and quality of wine produced, he felt obliged to join me in a glass. This prompted Louis to want to have a small taste... small taste??
Let's just say leaving the car parked in Rye was a good idea and taxi home. We virtually did a whole bottle each! $132 wine alone! But in the way of all vino veritas, the boys started talking about wines of quality they ahd shared, and restaurants they enjoyed/hated. Most were from the somewhat factious trip to Italy in 2002.
Louis challenged Carlo that he couldn't possibly remember anything, him being so young. Carlo countered by taking them both on a reconstructed trip with detailed descriptions of Singapore, Paris and Italy. Carlo then confessed that he felt he had been too young to appreciate the experience we gave him and how he wished he could take back his spoilt brat behaviour and do it again. This coming from a boy who said he would never leave this country again!
His father tearfully said he wished the same. Then it all happened. With us having to remorgage the house to buy them both new (second hand cars) this week, I had been advised as family finance director that we had room for much more equity draw down should we wish. I know very generous of WHICH BANK of course!
But hang on a moment. We have a boy just turned 21 and a father turning 78 next week. We do not get another chance. They are both going to Italy again this year. Whilst it set us back the best part of $25k then, I want them to be more independent and able to really experience the continent, without regard for family commitments. I have made the fiscal excecutive decision to carry more debt on the house. Who bloody cares, it's just bricks and mortar. This is something much more important. It is chance to undo so much hurt and pain before it is too late. All three of us ended up crying with joy.
I announced that I would stay home and look after the bloody cats! This will save a great deal of money. Louis felt this wasn't fair, and I said when they got home if there was money left over they could buy me (apart from my perfumes: Chanel Allure, D&G Light Blue and Armana Aqua di Gio or Gio), I expected to buy solar roof panels and a grey water system.
We all laughed all the way home. Then at home I watched the last quarter of the footy whilst knitting a scarf IN THE SAME ROOM as the blokes played hand after hand of red aces over cheese, pomegranites, chestnuts and COGNACs.
Today in the cool light of day, we have chased up the passports (both need renewal) and I have begun bookmarking pensiones and apartments links.
I am so happy for them both. I can't believe this is all happening. I am confident THIS TIME it will work. I am also realistic, there will be ups and downs as per usual but my son is a different person now and is able to negotiate his way out of difficult situations as demonstrated so capably last night. I am proud of him. To admit wrongdoing and apologise for hurt to his father is a huge step. Many young men never take it.
He also said he would be willing in Italy to sign on one day for military service to balance the ledger for his father not having done it. It would also allow him his Italian passport and direct lineage back to his family Castle and titles. Doing military service in Italy is the material for a whole new blog... watch this space.
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