It's Rainin' Again... and similar lyrics...

Pity I can't add that it's Raining Men, hallelujah... but thems the breaks.(Anyway given my history with men the pertinent descriptors would have to be drips or deluges). It was great to get up to the Lilydale Campus today. Looking at the colours of the Autumn leaves forming a carpet of colour walking through the LA building was special. I adore this time of year. It is one of my favourites. With the leaves (particularly the vivid crimsons)drawing my attention away from the leaden clouds I feel like a child. I just want to grab handfuls and throw them into the air or scrunch my way through the Elms leaves in Melbourne Streets. It is such a sensual overload... I can't help but feel upbeat and positive.

It is very strange however that once a person has witnessed the crash after a manic episode, any sign of general run of the mill happiness, pleasure or upbeat demeanour conjures up questions such as "Are you sure you are OK?". The question is asked from a total sense of concern and caring but hey guys lighten up... even the grey zone is alllowed some light relief. Maybe, it's just that my +3 on the mood state scale is a 'normal' persons +5. The degrees are a whole lot more intense for BiPolar people. What you fear as 'out of control' is actually a sense of happiness for us. Controlled and rational.

So the information for my dear concerned friends and colleagues is my grey scale ranges between -3 and +3. That's my NORMAL. Worry when the talking is simply TOO FAST with nary a space for a conversational pause or reply, the ideas are flowing seemingly non-stop, my energy levels would tire a 20 year old, I am drinking to excess, spending totally outrageously, and behaving as all 'bad girls' of Hollywood fame behave.

Worry also when you do not see or hear from me. I may be curled into a ball unable to get out of bed or leave the house. You can tell, as my thoughts and written word become so dark it is suffocating and menacing.

Hopefully, that will allay some fears.
I am doing quite well thank you, please allow me some fun just like you.

With a positive mental outlook on life I managed to pull together several of my deleted electronic files and documents... I think I can begin to successfully pick up all these 'dropped stitches' of my PhD. (Not a weaving metaphor Glen but a similarly gendered home spun one).

My head is getting back into the policy analysis space. I am ready to write again. Hopefully this weekend will be productive and not see me sitting in my study sulking as every tourist family deems it necessary to walk their child/ren (on bikes and razors) with their barking dogs along our streets, as they gaze into all the houses.

I suddenly feel like an animal at the Zoo from my study. (Perhaps I am... genus Penisularus?)

I could draw the curtains but hey, why should I shut the light out?

At least the gaze from the street meets my full wall bookcase and it is obvious that I BLOODY LIVE AND WORK DOWN HERE.

Why can't this lot head to the Mountains and snow? It is up there already isn't it? Oh that's right a house in Blairgowrie (that you can rent out you are nt using it and claim Tax offsets via negative gearing) is cheaper than a Mt Buller Chalet isn't it?

No more Christo's yoghurt or Coast coffees for a few days (not that I am thrilled to eat at Coast after yesterdays abomination).

LIGHT BULB MOMENT:
Must venture up the hills to wineries and choccky shop... that will be relaxing and THEY won't be there in huge numbers. Amazing how different the two sides of the Peninsula actually are and how there is a sanctuary for me in the middle amongst the gum trees.

More trees... isn't that how I began this blog?

Must be reconnecting with Gaia or something. Perhaps I am getting well.